 General Info
| I Am Here For: |
For a New Experience |
| Marital Status: |
Single |
| Children: |
I don't want children |
| Education: |
College Graduate |
| Religion: |
Atheist |
| Smoke: |
No |
| Drink: |
Yes |
| Occupation: |
N/A |
| Body Type: |
Average |
| Height: |
6' 2" |
| Ethnicity: |
White / Caucasian |
| Languages: |
English |
My Web Gifts
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bdmslave's Scoop
About me:
Male Slave Training
How Can I Be A Good Slave?
Some dominatrices get off on slaves who are defiant or subtly disobedient, and use it as an excuse to punish; but for other dominatrices, especially inexperienced ones, it can be anything but fun. Making your dominatrix feel like she doesn't know what she is doing is no fun for either of you. The solution? The next time you play, tell yourself that you are the property of your dominatrix, that her will is yours, and that your deepest desire is to please her. Before, if she did something you didn't like, you might have suggested her try it another way; now, she is doing exactly what she wants to be doing, and you are grateful she is doing it. Let go of your urges to be in control; surrender to her, and let her have her way with you.
If you are still not quite getting what you want, as a slave, this solution may not last very long; you will probably want to talk to your dominatrix about what your needs and desires are, and about how you can both have fun getting to them. But the time to negotiate about what your submissive fantasies are, and how you might want to manifest them, is not necessarily while you're in the middle of a scene which you've pre-negotiated. Don't get into the "Oh, yes, Mistress, anything you want--um, uh, Mistress, you're not quite doing it right!" trap.
Relax, and respond. Quite often a dominatrix will enjoy topping you because of your reactions--the way you wriggle, and squirm, and cry out. If you clench every muscle and strive to endure without giving any sign that you're feeling anything, your dominatrix may get frustrated with the lack of feedback. Let yourself feel. And don't hold your breath! Or rather, don't forget to breathe. (If, of course, you negotiated a "stoic endurance" scene, that's different. But don't feel you have to act that way.
Of course, nothing is cut-and-dried; just because you're the slave doesn't mean you're a puppet. But there is a big difference between being open and communicative, and trying to force things in your preferred direction. A good bottom is one who is enthusiastic, devoted to their dominatrix's pleasure, willing to surrender to their dominatrix's will, open about their own desires (in a respectful manner, of course), and happy to be the slave.
Who I'd like to meet:
Dominatrix Guide
How Can I Be A Good Dominatrix?
When first getting into the female domination scene, it can often be somewhat intimidating to try playing with a submissive, especially if neither of you have done it before. Here's this wonderful person, who wants you to dominate him. You tie him up, and he is helpless, wriggling with anticipation and lust... and now what do you do?
Play with him! There are all kinds of common objects that produce intense and enjoyable sensations when applied to a helpless lover. Combs for dragging across the skin, feathers for tickling a frantic foot, clothespins (use a couple or use many in artistic rows--these can be as intense as you want to make them!), ice cubes, chocolate syrup, strawberries (ever see 9 1/2 Weeks?), leather belts for slapping or spanking, hairbrushes for scuffing or beating, and of course your own fingers, mouth, genitals, and everything else. Enjoy taking your time with your willing victim; drive him to distraction, then bring him to the edge of ecstasy, then back off and make them beg for more!
Remember, you can set the mood as you wish. You can be playful, amused at your own ineptitude even while your submissive is moaning with desire. You can be stern and commanding, sympathetic but nasty, jolly yet sadistic--anything you please. As long as you focus your attention on your submissive, your slave will have a great time! Relax, go with the flow, and if you stop enjoying it, call safeword--tops can use safewords too.
Of course, there's no need to feel like you need to put all your attention into pleasing your slave; what's a good slave for if not for pleasing his Mistress? There is no doubt that with pleasure it is as good to give as to receive. Just remember, communicate, be sensitive to what your submissive is feeling, and you'll have no problem.
The one thing that is quite important to remember as a dominatrix is that you are responsible for your submissive. As you begin playing with SM, you may well be placing your slave in situations in which he is physically helpless and/or emotionally vulnerable. It is important that you recognize he is placing a great deal of trust in you, and in your ability to handle any situations that may come up. If you're in the middle of a hot scene, and suddenly someone unexpectedly bangs on the door, you may both be startled and shocked--but your slave will be immediately looking to you for protection. If something happens that you didn't expect, take care of your slave first--reassure them that you're not going to let anything happen to him, and then deal with the problem calmly and sensitively.
And don't be limited by preconceptions of what you "ought" to be doing, or worries about how you're not topping "correctly". If you start to feel pressured or insecure, take a step back, and ask yourself what you want out of the scene. Be honest, not only with your slave, but with yourself. And if you are in the middle of a scene, and suddenly your honesty says "I don't want to be doing this" or "I don't know what my partner wants, or even what I want," then by all means stop the scene--gracefully if possible. Better that than for the scene to drag on until both of you are sick of it.
If you still don't have any ideas, and if your slave is really hot to trot, you can always start playing with your slave and getting them excited in whatever way you know how, and demand that he tell you a fantasy of his, or you'll stop. Talking dirty to each other--trading hot fantasies, knowing that you can make them happen if you want to--is the best way of getting ideas for scenes. This actually goes for ALL sexual play, whether it involves SM or not!
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