 General Info
| I Am Here For: |
For a New Experience, To Meet People |
| Marital Status: |
Divorced |
| Children: |
N/A |
| Education: |
College Graduate |
| Religion: |
Spiritual, but not Religious |
| Smoke: |
Yes |
| Drink: |
N/A |
| Occupation: |
n/a |
| Body Type: |
Average |
| Height: |
5' 8" |
| Ethnicity: |
White / Caucasian |
| Languages: |
English, Spanish |
My Web Gifts
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OtterPops' Scoop
About me:
Hmmn...well, bugger the usual stuff for these things...
Abandoned as a child I was raised in the forest by wolves. This has its advantages and disadvantages. The good thing is that you develop an incredibly intimate connection with nature. The downside is that parent teacher interviews are a little awkward.
I monitor the frozen food section of grocery stores, looking for battered fish and providing them with a home where they need fear no longer...
I was soft spoken, until I put Viagra in my lip balm...
I am currently conducting research to explain why a "Drivers Education" manual is available in braille...
I like to go into Catholic bookstores and ask where their non-fiction section is.
Some say that vegetarians choose their diet because they love animals too much to kill them for food. I disagree. I think it's because they have a deep rooted hatred of plants.
I used to work hat check at a magician's conference...rabbits EVERYWHERE.
The bible says on the seventh day, god rested. Am I the only person who finds it slightly disturbing that 'he' gets tired?
Last week I organized a Haiku reading for stutterers...it was three hours long and we only got through three poems.
I'm currently lobbying government to enact a law that prevents Christians from becoming born-again unless they promise not to mention it to the rest of us who got it right the first time.
At the family Christmas dinner, my mom asked me if I wanted any of grandma's stuffing...I told her, first off that's gross. Second off, why did they take Grandma to a taxidermist?
As for the rest...reading and hiking in the summer down in the Hills are big for me...and a gift for occasionally eliciting milk out the nose laughter...
After an inauspicious start, being raised in the forest by wolves, I aged at a steady rate of a year per annum until the present day. During this incredible feat of consistency I managed to stay out of major trouble (save for a public indecency close call, a rather embarrassing incident involving arson and Iowa's sewer system and a minor run-in with a nymphomaniac ferret who was either on or off its meds - the veterinary coroner botched the autopsy).
Neither tall nor short, fat nor particularly thin, with a face referred to as 'common' on good days and 'why, didn't I see you on that Crimestoppers bit last night?' on bad days, as a physical specimen I'm hardly noteworthy. On the other hand, I'm continually harrassed by medical students wishing to use me for their anatomy project finals (at least, they claimed to be medical students, however they wanted to perform the procedure on the subway, so I'm a little suspicious).
I should mention however that as far as looks go, I was told by my ex that I could stop traffic. This was a bit disingenuous though, since she attempted to prove the fact by throwing me in front of moving cars.
In terms of emotional and mental health, I would hazard to guess that all the necessary neurosis are in place, including an unhealthy fear of midgets on public transportation. I can't say how serious these issues are, except to mention that my parents have given me a 'home lobotomy kit' for Christmas the last five years running.
Myspace Layouts / The Smurfs / Hot Comments / Image Hosting
Who I'd like to meet:
What am I looking for? Well, you know, it's kind of hard to really see the point of saying "someone smart, funny, beautiful, with a laugh that lights up a room and a smile that could melt diamonds"...I mean, who isn't? You don't see many people with "I'm looking for a dumb, somber, ugly person with a laugh that sounds like a donkey having an epileptic fit and a smile that could break glass." Let's just leave it at 'no expectations, and no disappointments'.
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