 General Info
| I Am Here For: |
To Meet People |
| Marital Status: |
In a Relationship |
| Children: |
Have children |
| Education: |
In College |
| Religion: |
Spiritual, but not Religious |
| Smoke: |
Yes |
| Drink: |
Yes |
| Occupation: |
In College |
| Body Type: |
Average |
| Height: |
5' 6" |
| Ethnicity: |
White / Caucasian |
| Languages: |
English |
My Web Gifts
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Doamna_420's Scoop
About me:
Who I'd like to meet:
There are a very few people that i can honestly say that i want to meet. If Y/you are one of those people Y/you know who Y/you are and there is no reason in repeating the obvious.
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More About Doamna_420
My Other Profile/Website Links:
N/A
Interests:
LOL, there is a long list in a variety of categories. Let's just say that i have many and leave it at that.
My Favorite Websites:
N/A
Music:
OK THIS IS ANIME BUT IT"S OK I LIKE THE SONG...AND WHAT A MESSAGE
Movies:
N/A
Books:
The following are some poems or writings I have done. They are just tidbits of my thoughts that I thought I would share, but don't read anything into them. I'm not deep, matter of fact it appears I'm quite shallow. At least that seems to be the popular consenous. Anyway, read them...don't read them...I could care less.
PLEASING
With every word that crosses my lips I hope to convey to you what i feel in my heart. With every look I give to you I want to convey my love, admiration, respect, and caring for you. Every movement I make is an attempt to catch your eye. The way I walk by you, the gentle way I brush your hand with mine when I pass you, the way I whisper your name and it is carried away by a breeze, all the while I pray that it is carried to your ear. The smile that I give to you is meant to warm you like the sun. The way I present myself to others, a reflection of you. All these things I do for you hopeing that to you I am...Pleasing.
ADDICTION
I count the moments until I am able to talk to you, the time I spend waiting almost seems like an eternity. I wonder if you're thinking of me, I wonder if our time apart affects you as well. Hours have passed, I spend my time pacing the floor, waiting for some word from you. Suddenly the darkest thoughts pass thru my mind....are you okay, are you hurt, has some terrible fate befallen you? Is this why I have not heard from you? My mind dives deeper into the abyss of uncertainty and dread. Will I hear my name pass your lips again? Will the calming sound of your voice comfort me when all else has failed? These questions run over and over again thru my mind. I feel sick, my stomach churns as tho I have swallowed a thousand jagged pieces of glass, each one taking its turn cutting and piercing me. The burning sensation in my stomach is only topped by the pain in my chest. The feeling of a powerful vice crushing my very heart within me. Everything is fine I tell myself, nothing is wrong, something came up, something unexpected. But what if it wasn't, what if I have lost you? I begin to cling to every memory of every word you spoke to me, looking for some hidden message that I may not have noticed before....I can't take this any longer, the pain is too much, the tears flow from my eyes like a raging river, unstoppable, uncontrollable. My flesh turns to a milky white echo of what it once was, I am cold, I lay down drawing my knees to my chest, mimicking the time before I was born, the only time I was truly safe, the only time that I KNEW I was loved. Then it happens, I hear from you, my name passes thru your lips as eloquently as ever. A sudden burst of energy runs thru my body, I should have known nothing was wrong, that you hadn't forgotten me, that you hadn't discarded me. You are my fix, the only thing that brings peace to my soul, the only thing that brings warmth to my skin, the only thing that brings a smile to my face...you are my ....addiction.
DARKNESS
I lay there staring into the darkness, no sound reaches my ear, nor do any of my senses register anything that may lend aide into where I am. I open my mouth to scream yet not a sound escapes from my lips. I try to move but my extremities ignore my request. I tell myself this has to be a dream a nightmare. Suddenly a mixed sense of fear, sadness and anger overcome my body. I want to weep but I feel no tears running down my face. "Someone will find me, someone will wake me from this dreadful slumber", I think, but no one does. Minutes pass into hours and hours into what seems like days. Finally I blink, and realize there is light, there is sound and smell. I look out the window and see that it is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming and there are people moving about within their own lives.....and I realize.....it was a moment within my soul, only a moment that seemed like an eternity, I am alone. The darkness, the silence, it was all inside my body, my spirit trying to break free from the prison I have spent my entire life building, then I feel the warmth of tears running down my face... my soul had wept yet I did not know, reality is the dream, I scream for help and no one comes, I move about but I go nowhere, I look at things but truly do not see them, I listen to things but truly do not hear a sound, my soul only lives in darkness, my body is the prison I have spent a lifetime creating, and in the end there will only be....Darkness
FORGOTTEN
Have you forgotten me? I seek you out every day but I can not find you. I call your name but you do not answer. I cry for you but my tears are in vein. I pound my fist against the wall but the pain is for nothing. I would change the world for you if I could, but who am I to do such things. I have no power, for if I did you would sense my longing, you would hear my distant whispers. My thoughts are filled with wonder as to why I have become invisible to you. Have I offended you? Have I brought torment to you by speaking your name? I am nothing, a shell of a life that has never shown me kindness. I should have spoken my thoughts to you when I had the chance. I should have told you how I cared for you. I should have .......yet I didn't. Fear overcame me, it turned me to stone. Yet beneath the cold, course exterior of this shell beats the heart of someone ...no matter how insignificant you may think I am. The blood still runs through my veins as it always has, only slower than before. The cold bite of loneliness has pierced my flesh and has started to drain me. I wonder how long it will be before it reaches this heart in my chest. I am sorrowful, I am alone, I am...........Forgotten.
WAITING
The pain of the world rushes in on me. I feel everything with such great sensitivity. It is a curse, a curse I am destined to bear, I want to make the pain go away so I take it inside myself. I wrap it in my soul and try to extinguish the hurt. I absorb it into my very being. It makes me stronger. It makes me realize that around any corner or hidden in any dark place there is a pain for everyone, even me. I try to be there for everyone...but who is there for me. Who will be there to wipe the tears away from my cheek when I weep? Who will wrap their arms around me to comfort me when I feel alone? Who will be there to tell me " I love you no matter what you have done or what you will do tomorrow"? Who will be my friend when everyone else has left me? There is so much of me that I wish to share with someone who will treasure it. So much love in my heart to give to someone who will accept it. Will you accept me for who I am and not who everyone wants me to be? Will you take my hand in yours, look into my eyes and tell me that you will be there for me? I wish you would. Until that day comes I will wait, I will wait until the stars burn out, I will wait for an eternity to love you, to be there for you, to comfort you when you need me. Until then I will be here .....waiting.
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