Its one of those days today. One of those three special ones that make me think of you. Miss you babe. Tu me manques. Je t'aime tellement. Happy Birthday xxx

My Love,
Its taken me over a month to write this. I'm a wreck now. I can't get out of my mind the night you left, and the hole you've left in my life ever since. Yes, I know you've been around, I've seen the signs you told me to watch out for. I can feel you with me. I know I sometimes call out to you and feel you as you respond.

But it is not the same as having you with me as we used to. As time has passed, I've learned even more about you than you told me when you were there. I feel so alone, I've been attacked, bullied, reviled and called crazy by so many - in most times simply because I'm there. I'm trying to hold it altogether, but love, its hard. Its really hard. You were more of a rock for me than I could ever imagine.

Do not think for one second that I will ever forget you. I fought so hard for you, tried to make everything right for you. I focused more on that than I did myself. You know that. I could never be selfish. But that last battle was one fight I couldn't win for you. In that, I've let you down. Please forgive me, I tried.

I'm glad you are without pain, without shit, without all the struggles you've had in the past. I just wish things could have been different. I loved you so much. We had everything to live for together.

Wherever you are now, please, smile for me like you used to. You said I'd made your life beautiful, lets keep it that way. I love you forever now too.

Tu me manques
Ton Kat xxx